🙃 There's More to Life Than Being Happy (THIS is it)
The 4 Pillars of MEANING
In her book "The Power of Meaning," Emily Esfahani Smith rounds up the latest research -- and the stories of fascinating people she interviewed -- to argue that the search for meaning is far more fulfilling than the pursuit of personal happiness.
BELONGING: being in relationships where you're valued for who you really are and visa versa… this pillar is not focused on ‘cheap belonging’ (eg. hate) - but rather on love and choice.
- Next Step: When you’re with friends or family - make sure to express the value of your time together by focusing on them and putting your phone screen down on the table / on silent. This way, you’ll make them feel more seen, worthy of your time + appreciated in your life instead of belittling your time together with constant distractions.
PURPOSE: this pillar is less about what you WANT and more about what you GIVE… the key here is to focus your strength to serve others.
- Next Step: “My purpose is to use my natural connection, vision and energy to guide and inspire others to create a life that allows them to be the truest, healthiest and happiest version of themselves.” - I wrote this down in a note to look at every morning before my day begins. If you KNOW what you’re purpose is - awesome - do the same! If you have absolutely 0 clue - still awesome - write down one thing you love to do / share every day (eg. make people laugh).
TRANSCENDENCE: a focus on feeling connected to a higher reality - being lifted above the hustle and bustle of everyday life.
- Next Step: Have you ever been stopped in your tracks by a moving piece of art hanging on the museum wall? Or cried your heart out when a song came on the radio that just ‘got you’ after that painful breakup? Maybe you feel transcendence when adventuring in the great outdoors or spending time in a religious space? Whatever it may be - moments of transcendence deeply impact + change us, so make sure to respect them by giving your full and undivided attention.
STORYTELLING: the story you tell yourself ABOUT yourself. Now, this is incredibly important because it can give you clarity + understanding of your own life BUT it can also be your own worst enemy.
- Next Step: What’s the story you tell yourself about you? Maybe it’s that you’re ‘bad at math’ or ‘can’t fall in love’? Or assuming that you won’t succeed at learning a new skill because it just isn’t your thing?’ Listen - we DECIDE what our ‘thing’ is - and if you hold on too tightly to a tale you weave about yourself, you’ll never be open to potential experiences that can you help you grow. Even worse, if your story is always negative - then you won’t even give yourself the chance to change… and that’ the biggest shame of all. Those who express having meaning in their life weave stories about themselves that focus on redemption, growth and love. If your story doesn’t - then start writing one that does.
Remember - HABITS are 100% in OUR control!
Together we can change anything that isn't allowing you to live life to the absolute fullest -
as the most authentic, powerful & happiest YOU.